Your happiness quotient – multiplied
I think the tax form should have only the following fields:
Flip, Flop, and Min go to work at a coal mine.
When they arrive the manager assigns each of them a task. Flip is in charge of digging. Flop is in charge of transportation. Min is in charge of supplies.
They get to work and everything is going smoothly. Flip is digging up the coal at a rapid pace. Flop is quickly transporting the coal and the two have quite the efficient operation going.
Slowly Flip’s pick begins to go dull and his shovel handle is breaking off. Flop’s transportation cart has a rickety wheel and they need replacements from their supply man, Min. However, Min is nowhere to be found. In fact, no one has seen him all day long. Frustrated, Flip and Flop go to find the manager and explain the situation. The manager is equally upset.
The three of them go about the mine looking to find Min. They search high and low, but Min can’t be found anywhere. Extremely frustrated and about to give up, they decide to take a look down a dark, abandoned shaft. They peak their heads in and suddenly Min jumps out of nowhere and yells, “SUPPRIES!!!”
Who doesn’t hate editors?
But their jobs are not enviable at all.
Today, some Editor jokes for you.
I applied for a job as a video editor.
Didn’t make the final cut.
What’s the difference between AN editor and THE editor?
A definite vs indefinite article.
What do apples and space time have in common?
Wormholes
I think the tomatoes in my garden are actually round red time travelers.
They all seem to be developing wormholes.
This one is a classic, and we always love it!
Three Conspiracy Theorists walk into a restaurant.
You cannot think that’s a coincidence!
*******
My brother hates candles and he thinks they were created as part of a government conspiracy
He’s an anti-waxer
**********
It’s obvious people offering UFO conspiracy theories don’t understand basic science.
If they did, they’d be offering UFO conspiracy hypotheses.
********
Have you heard the conspiracy about duvet manufacturers?
They’re involved in a big cover up.
*******
When it comes to government conspiracy theories…
First make sure it can’t be attributed to incompetence.
************
Did you hear about the California owl conspiracy network?
They call themselves the “ca-hoots”.
***********
I’m always suspicious of people who use AutoCAD… they always seem to be plotting something.
When an employment application asks who is to be notified in case of an emergency, I always write, “A very good doctor”.
“The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened. – Mark Twain
“At fifty, everyone has the face he deserves.”
– George Orwell
“At age 20, we worry about what others think of us… at age 40, we don’t care what they think of us… at age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all.”
– Ann Lander
“As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two.”
– Sir Norman Wisdom
“It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.”
– Andy Rooney
“Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.”
– Larry Lorenzon
“I’m 59 and people call me middle-aged. How many 118-year-old men do you know?”
– Barry Cryer
“Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.”
– Maurice Chevalier
“Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old, it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother that does.”
– J. Norman Collie
“When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.”
-Mark Twain
“Time may be a great healer, but it’s a lousy beautician.”
– Anonymous
