Issac Newton’s mother– “But did you wash the apple before eating it?”
Thomas Edison’s mother– Of course I am proud that you invented the electric bulb. Now turn it off and get to bed !!!”
Abraham Lincoln’s mother– “Now that you have become President for heaven’s sake get rid of that shabby tailcoat and stovepipe hat, and buy yourself a decent outfit.”
James Watt’s mother– “If you just keep watching that damn lid lifting and dropping, rice will be burnt. Turn off the stove now.”
Alexander Graham Bell’s mother– “You have installed this new silly thing in the house alright, but I do not want girls calling you at odd hours.”
Galileo Galilei’s mother– “What use is seeing that goddamn moon with your telescope if it does not help me to see my mother in Milano.”
Samuel Morse’s mother– “Make sure your school report card doesn’t have only dashes and dots.”
Mona Lisa’s mother– “After all that money your father and I spent on your braces, is that the best smile you can give us ?”
Michelangelo’s mother– “Can’t you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?”
Albert Einstein’s mother– “Can’t you do something about your hair? Use styling gel or something?”
Danial Fahrenheit’s mother– “Stop playing with boiling water and let me make tea.”
Georg Ohm’s mother– “I don’t like you resisting everything I say.”
Robert Boyle’s mother– “If your volume is really inversely proportional to pressure, you must be having a constipation. Take a laxative.”
Christopher Columbus’ mother– “I don’t care what you were busy discovering and where, you could still have dropped a two line letter!”
A new CEO was hired to take over a struggling company. The CEO who was stepping down met with him privately and presented him with three numbered envelopes. “Open these if you run into serious trouble,” he said.
Well, three months later sales and profits were still way down and the new CEO was catching a lot of heat. He began to panic but then he remembered the envelopes. He went to his drawer and took out the first envelope. The message read, “Blame your predecessor.” The new CEO called a press conference and explained that the previous CEO had left him with a real mess and it was taking a bit longer to clean it up than expected, but everything was on the right track. Satisfied with his comments, the press – and Wall Street – responded positively.
Another quarter went by and the company continued to struggle. Having learned from his previous experience, the CEO quickly opened the second envelope. The message read, “Reorganize.” So he fired key people, consolidated divisions and cut costs everywhere he could. This he did and Wall Street, and the press, applauded his efforts.
Three months passed and the company was still short on sales and profits. The CEO would have to figure out how to get through another tough earnings call. The CEO went to his office, closed the door and opened the third envelope. The message said, “Prepare three envelopes.”
