A new teacher is marking attendance. She comes across the name “hijkm” and says, “There is a name here that is written h-i-j-k-m. I’m sorry, I’m not sure how to pronounce this name,”
A girl raises her hand: “That’s me, ma’m, and it’s pronounced Noelle”.
An engineer, chef, and a mathematician go out to dinner at their favorite restaurant and grill. They’re sharing some jokes over their snacks and laughing when a fire starts behind the grill.
Seeing the staff panicking, the engineer quickly calculates exactly how much water he’ll need to put it out and runs in the back for a bucket.
The chef, from his own experience can tell it’s a grease fire so he runs in back to find salt.
The Mathematician looks at his friends, then to the fire. Upon realizing there is a solution, he promptly continues eating.
A Roman senator comes into the senate fifteen minutes late one day. Cicero is up front making a speech, so he creeps into his seat as quietly as possible and whispers to the guy next to him, “What’s he talking about?”
The guy replies, “I don’t know, he hasn’t gotten to the verb.”
Need a Friend?
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Teenagers 1
Teacher: Why is your paper in blank?
Student: Sometimes Silence is the best answer.
Inner Peace
“My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.”
We greeted and she asked me directions to the ICICI Bank.
I told her make a 299 degrees turn and walk for 290 meters, then subtend the angle of X using Pythagoras Theorem and round bit up to the nearest degree using tan ∆. From that point, draw a parabolic curve and walk 342 meters on its major axis and bisect the straight road at an obtuse angle. That’s where the bank is.