Oh, Cicero!

A Roman senator comes into the senate fifteen minutes late one day. Cicero is up front making a speech, so he creeps into his seat as quietly as possible and whispers to the guy next to him, “What’s he talking about?”

The guy replies, “I don’t know, he hasn’t gotten to the verb.”

Need a Friend?

Need a friend? Call me.

A laugh? Call me

Need money? This number is no longer available.

Teenagers 1

Teacher: Why is your paper in blank?

Student: Sometimes Silence is the best answer.

Inner Peace

“My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.”

— Dave Barry