Did you hear about the poker player who made the palm reader quit?
He refused to show his hand.
Tag: English Jokes
English Jokes
What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
“You may have graduated, but I’ve got many degrees.”
Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
Because it was polar!
Why should you go out to eat with neutrons?
Because wherever they go, there’s no charge!
What happens when you lower your body temperature to -273°C?
Nothing, you’re perfectly 0K!
Carbon and Hydrogen are excellent friends. They really bond.
Comics, English Jokes
Let’s talk about.. Nero.
The legend of Nero goes that he played the fiddle while Rome burnt. This comic is based on that legend.
We saw this epic comic featuring Nero, and then just had to get a joke to match!
64AD: Nero bans the practice of Christianity throughout the Roman empire
Christians: I can’t believe this!
Romans: Correct.
English Jokes
Pirate Ship Captain: Can someone tell me how to write the number 2 in Roman numerals?
Crew: I I captain.
English Jokes
Mike says to Jack, “I found this pen, is it yours?”
Jack replies, “Don’t know let me see.” He then tries it and says, “Yes it is.”
Mike asks, “How do you know?”
Jack replies, “That’s my handwriting..”.
English Jokes
What do you get when you search “Rorschach tests”?
Silhouettes of parents fighting.
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What do you get when you google “Alzeimer’s”?
Purple links.
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Last night I was thinking to myself “I wonder how much Google really knows about me?”
But then my Android phone texted me the message “not much”. So, I feel better now.
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What do you get when you google “Lost medieval servant boy”?
“This page could not be found.”
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I had to turn to Google for help with a crossword puzzle. The clue was “Dishonestly gaining a advantage,” eight letters.
I immediately felt bad for looking it up, that was cheating.
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What do you get when you google ‘How to light a candle?”
50,000 matches.
English Jokes
A Punjabi opened a tea shop in China. He named it Punjab Tea Stall. The shop did not do well.
Then someone suggested that if you want to succeed in China you have to keep a Chinese name for your shop.
Now his shop is doing very well because he has changed the name of the shop to
CHA FOO FOO KARKE PEE
English Jokes, Quotes and one lIners
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/4th!
English Jokes, Quotes and one lIners
Student: How much is remaining, sir?
Teacher: it’s last 20, be quick.
Student: 20 what? Apples?