Mike says to Jack, “I found this pen, is it yours?”
Jack replies, “Don’t know let me see.” He then tries it and says, “Yes it is.”
Mike asks, “How do you know?”
Jack replies, “That’s my handwriting..”.
Tag: English Jokes
English Jokes
What do you get when you search “Rorschach tests”?
Silhouettes of parents fighting.
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What do you get when you google “Alzeimer’s”?
Purple links.
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Last night I was thinking to myself “I wonder how much Google really knows about me?”
But then my Android phone texted me the message “not much”. So, I feel better now.
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What do you get when you google “Lost medieval servant boy”?
“This page could not be found.”
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I had to turn to Google for help with a crossword puzzle. The clue was “Dishonestly gaining a advantage,” eight letters.
I immediately felt bad for looking it up, that was cheating.
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What do you get when you google ‘How to light a candle?”
50,000 matches.
English Jokes
A Punjabi opened a tea shop in China. He named it Punjab Tea Stall. The shop did not do well.
Then someone suggested that if you want to succeed in China you have to keep a Chinese name for your shop.
Now his shop is doing very well because he has changed the name of the shop to
CHA FOO FOO KARKE PEE
English Jokes, Quotes and one lIners
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/4th!
English Jokes, Quotes and one lIners
Student: How much is remaining, sir?
Teacher: it’s last 20, be quick.
Student: 20 what? Apples?
English Jokes
A Lawyer named Strange died and his wife asked the grave builder to inscribe on his grave,
“Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer.”
The grave builder insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for the passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the grave.
So, he suggested an alternative.
He would inscribe, “Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer.”
That way, whenever anyone walked by the grave and read it,
they would be certain to remark,
“That’s Strange!”
English Jokes
I put on my resume that I can type 700 characters per minute
Which is true, but apparently, they expected these characters to form words.
English Jokes, puns
I thought about running for president
But I figured he should do his own exercise.
English Jokes
One day, all the teaching colleagues of Dr. Flip got into a plane to fly to a conference.
The pilot came online and announced, “You will be delighted to know that all the work on building this plane has been done by your own students!”
Immediately, there was a mad scramble and all the teachers got off the plane before the air hostess could understand a thing.
Dr, Flip, however, remained calmly seated and in fact, opened the morning paper and started reading it.
“You must trust your students an awful lot, Prof!” The pilot could barely hide his admiration.
“Oh yes! Absolutely!” Flip replied, “If my students built it, this plane isn’t going anywhere.”