Tag: Best jokes on the internet
Comics
We love this comic for its wordplay.
Hindi Jokes, हिन्दी जोक्स
सुरेश: तुम्हारे घर पर तुम्हें प्यार से क्या बुलाते हैं?
रमेश: मेरे घर पर मुझे प्यार से बुलाते ही नहीं हैं!
English Jokes
At a party attended by many celebrities, the gray-haired veteran walked up to the stage with a cane and took his seat.
The host asked: “Do you still go to the doctor often ?”
Veteran said, “Yes, often “
Host asked, “Why ?”
Veteran said, “Patients must go to the doctor often! Only then doctor can survive !!”
The audience burst into applause, and cheered for the veteran’s witty language.
😇😆😇😆
*The host then asked : “Do you then go to the pharmacist *
The veteran replied: of course because the pharmacist has also to survive.
Another round of applause.
😇😆😇😆
Host asked, “Do you take medicine?”
Veteran said, “No ! I often throw it away because I also want to survive !!”
The audience laughed even more.
😇😆😇😆
The host finally said : “Thank you for coming for this interview !”
The veteran replied : “You’re welcome ! I know, you have to survive too !!”
The audience burst into laughter and cheers, which lasted for a long time !!
English Jokes
After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet” which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.
The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Here are actual maintenance complaints submittd by UPS pilots (“P”) and solutions recorded (“S”) by maintenance engineers:
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what friction locks are for.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
