Skip to content

Laughter is the BEST medicine, and the best health tonic. Share a laugh!

  • Get us on the Play Store

Comedy Majors

Your happiness quotient – multiplied

  • Home
  • Get Daily Laughs
  • English Jokes
    • English Jokes
    • Funny poetry
    • puns
  • हिन्दी जोक्स
  • Memes
    • Life Memes
    • Office Memes
    • Student Memes
  • Videos
    • Aiyyo Shraddha
    • Super Sindhi
    • Jaspal Bhatti
  • About Us
    • Our Insta
  • Comics
    • Perception Bias
  • Home
  • English Jokes
  • Page 5

Category: English Jokes

This is how you become a politician

Posted on September 29, 2024 By Admin Comedy Majors No Comments on This is how you become a politician
English Jokes

It’s a joke. We all know that our politicians are very smart.

That next stage in evolution

Posted on September 21, 2024 By Admin Comedy Majors No Comments on That next stage in evolution
English Jokes

We love jokes that make a subtle point. This one does.

What do you think is the point that this joke is making?

Old Folks are the Funniest

Posted on September 17, 2024 By Admin Comedy Majors No Comments on Old Folks are the Funniest
English Jokes

At a party attended by many celebrities, the gray-haired veteran walked up to the stage with a cane and took his seat.

The host asked: “Do you still go to the doctor often ?”
Veteran said, “Yes, often “
Host asked, “Why ?”
Veteran said, “Patients must go to the doctor often! Only then doctor can survive !!”

The audience burst into applause, and cheered for the veteran’s witty language.
😇😆😇😆
*The host then asked : “Do you then go to the pharmacist *
The veteran replied: of course because the pharmacist has also to survive.
Another round of applause.
😇😆😇😆
Host asked, “Do you take medicine?”
Veteran said, “No ! I often throw it away because I also want to survive !!”
The audience laughed even more.
😇😆😇😆
The host finally said : “Thank you for coming for this interview !”
The veteran replied : “You’re welcome ! I know, you have to survive too !!”

The audience burst into laughter and cheers, which lasted for a long time !!

What they don’t tell you about the effect of spam calls on life

Posted on August 29, 2024 By Admin Comedy Majors No Comments on What they don’t tell you about the effect of spam calls on life
English Jokes

Yes, that IS smart

Posted on August 14, 2024 By Admin Comedy Majors No Comments on Yes, that IS smart
English Jokes

And it brings a chuckle..!

A classic Khushwant Singh joke

Posted on August 13, 2024 By Admin Comedy Majors No Comments on A classic Khushwant Singh joke
English Jokes

When Giani Zail Singh became the 7th President of India, his lack of fluency in English led to some embarrassment. So, Mrs. Gandhi personally appointed an English tutor for him. He was to receive instruction every evening.

After 3 weeks, Mrs. Gandhi called up the Singh household and asked to speak to Giani ji. She found that his English was halting, if that. She then had a word with the tutor and asked him to expedite the progress.

Three weeks went by, and Mrs. Gandhi called again. With the same result. This time, her words to the tutor were stronger.

Since Mrs. Gandhi was travelling, she could only call after a month. As luck would have it, the tutor picked up the phone.

“Oh, hello, Martin. Does your student speak English now?” she enquired.
“O seekh jayega haule haule. Kaali kyun karni hai?” Martin replied. (Translation: Punjabi for – He will learn gradually. Why the rush?)

Pilots and Engineers have a sense of humour too

Posted on August 12, 2024 By Admin Comedy Majors No Comments on Pilots and Engineers have a sense of humour too
English Jokes

After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a “gripe sheet” which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft.

The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.


Here are actual maintenance complaints submittd by UPS pilots (“P”) and solutions recorded (“S”) by maintenance engineers:


P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.


P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.


P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit


P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.


P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.


P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.


P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.


P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That’s what friction locks are for.


P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.


P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you’re right.


P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.


P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.


P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.


P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.


P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

Teacher Feedback for your child

Posted on August 9, 2024 By Admin Comedy Majors No Comments on Teacher Feedback for your child
English Jokes

In this day and age, the individuality of the child is to be respected. Teachers, however, know how to be creative yet accurate. Read on…

Dear Parent,
We are pleased your child has one of the same qualities that Henry Ford, the founder of the Ford Motor Company, possessed. Like him, your son believes that history is bunk. But it may be best to disabuse him of the notion that the Mughal emperors were Amar, Akbar, and Anthony.
Yours beseechingly,
Teacher


Dear Parent,
Your child submitted a blank paper for last week’s science test, influenced perhaps by Albert Camus, who said, ‘Whether the earth or the sun revolves around the other is a matter of profound indifference’. Your son shares that profound indifference, undoubtedly for philosophical reasons. But could you inform him that in order to study philosophy, he has to pass class eight first?
Yours plaintively,
Teacher


Dear Parent,
Your son has obviously read Friedrich Nietzsche’s Beyond Good and Evil, which is why he was copying from the boy next to him during yesterday’s test. Like Nietzsche, he believes that Supermen like him have little use for conventional notions of morality. The teacher who caught him copying is a conventional type who gave him a zero.
Yours conservatively,
Teacher


Dear Parent,
We are impressed by your child’s knowledge of martial arts. In the past month, he has broken two legs, four arms and three noses. He also shows prudence while fighting, taking care to pick on weaker boys. He has inspired community action. The parents of the children are now planning to form a martial arts practice club and will help your child practice his art further. They are likely to contact him at home, after school hours.
Yours amusedly,
Teacher

Now that is a point to ponder

Posted on August 2, 2024 By Admin Comedy Majors No Comments on Now that is a point to ponder
English Jokes

This is the stuff that champions are made of…

Posted on July 30, 2024 By Admin Comedy Majors No Comments on This is the stuff that champions are made of…
English Jokes

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 4 5 6 … 30 Next

June 2025
M T W T F S S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
30  
« May    

A day without laughter is a day wasted.

- Mom
  • Aiyyo Shraddha
  • Black Adder
  • Bob Mania
  • classics
  • Comics
  • Dry bar comedy
  • English Jokes
  • Funny poetry
  • Hindi Jokes
  • Jaspal Bhatti
  • Just Indian Things
  • Kusha Kapila
  • Life Memes
  • Memes
  • Mr. Param
  • Office Memes
  • Our Best
  • Perception Bias
  • Pratyush Chaubey
  • puns
  • Quotes and one lIners
  • Raju Shrivastava
  • Raju Shrivastava
  • Riddles
  • RJ Karishma
  • Student Memes
  • Super Sindhi
  • Videos
  • हिन्दी जोक्स

best comic strips Best English Jokes Best funny videos Best Funny videos on the internet Best Hindi Jokes best hindi jokes online Best HIndi Jokes on the internet Best intelligent jokes Best IT memes best jokes Best jokes for the family Best jokes on the internet best memes best memes on the internet best office memes best puns best puns on the internet best student memes clean hindi jokes Clean Humour for kids clean jokes Clean Jokes for kids Comedy Majors Comedy Majors Meme English Jokes English Jokes for Kids family jokes funniest english jokes Funniest jokes Funny family videos Funny videos good jokes Good memes for kids Hindi Jokes intelligent humour intelligent jokes Intelligent memes Intelligent puns Ishaan kaila jokes Kid friendly humour memes Life Meme Most intelligent jokes on the internet most intelligent puns Office memes

  • Get us on the Play Store
  • Get us on the Play Store

Send us your memes, jokes, puns at majorscomedy@gmail.com.

Comedy Majors
Proudly powered by WordPress Theme: Oceanly Premium.
 

Loading Comments...