Category: English Jokes

Today’s English Jokes

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English Jokes

Oh, Cicero!

A Roman senator comes into the senate fifteen minutes late one day. Cicero is up front making a speech, so he creeps into his seat as quietly as possible and whispers to the guy next to him, “What’s he talking about?”

The guy replies, “I don’t know, he hasn’t gotten to the verb.”

Need a Friend?

Need a friend? Call me.

A laugh? Call me

Need money? This number is no longer available.

Teenagers 1

Teacher: Why is your paper in blank?

Student: Sometimes Silence is the best answer.

Inner Peace

“My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.”

— Dave Barry

Maths Teacher and Directions to the Bank

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English Jokes

I met one of my Maths teachers yesterday. 

We greeted and she asked me directions to the ICICI Bank. 

I told her make a 299 degrees turn and walk for 290 meters, then subtend the angle of X using Pythagoras Theorem and round bit up to the nearest degree using tan ∆. From that point, draw a parabolic curve and walk 342 meters on its major axis and bisect the straight road at an obtuse angle. That’s where the bank is.

QnA – This kid nailed it!

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English Jokes

Q.1 – In which battle did Tipu Sultan Die ?..

Ans. – In his Last Battle..

Q.2 – Where was the Declaration of Independence Signed?

Ans. – At the Bottom of the Page..

Q.3 – What is the Main Reason for Divorce ?..

Ans. – Marriage..

Q.4 – Ganga Flows in which State ?..

Ans. – Liquid State..

Q.5 – When was Mahatma Gandhi Born ?..

Ans.- On His Birthday..

Q.6 – How will you Distribute 8 Mangoes among 6 People ?..

Ans – By Preparing Mango Shake..!!