Your happiness quotient – multiplied
A woman went to the doctor complaining of pain all over her body.
“I hurt all over,” she said.
“What do you mean all over?” the doctor asked, “Can you be a little more specific?”
The woman proceeded to touch her right knee with her index finger and yelled, “Ow, that hurts.” Then her nose and yelled again, “Ouch! That also hurts.” Then she touched her left earlobe and yelled again, “Even that hurts doc.”
After examining her, the doctor came to a conclusion… the woman had a broken finger.
The teacher wrote on the blackboard:
I ain’t had no fun all summer.
“Now, class, how do we correct this sentence?” she asked.
Flip raised his hand.
“Yes, Flip?”
“Get some ice cream, ma’m. Summer ain’t fun without ice cream.”
A new teacher is marking attendance. She comes across the name “hijkm” and says, “There is a name here that is written h-i-j-k-m. I’m sorry, I’m not sure how to pronounce this name,”
A girl raises her hand: “That’s me, ma’m, and it’s pronounced Noelle”.
An engineer, chef, and a mathematician go out to dinner at their favorite restaurant and grill. They’re sharing some jokes over their snacks and laughing when a fire starts behind the grill.
Seeing the staff panicking, the engineer quickly calculates exactly how much water he’ll need to put it out and runs in the back for a bucket.
The chef, from his own experience can tell it’s a grease fire so he runs in back to find salt.
The Mathematician looks at his friends, then to the fire. Upon realizing there is a solution, he promptly continues eating.
How many Apple enthusiasts does it take to change a lightbulb?
They don’t change the light bulb, they just buy a new house.
How many wizards does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on what you want to change it into.
