Your happiness quotient – multiplied
A Mexican man says to his friends: “I can disappear in three seconds”
Uno… dos… and then he disappears without a tres!
Flip: I still can’t believe the state I was in!
Flop: Was it Karnataka or Goa?
I can’t do small talk.
I just asked the lady cutting my hair what she does for a living.
Q: Did you see my client flee the scene?
A: No, sir, I didn’t. But subsequently I observed someone running several blocks away who matched the description of the offender.
Q: Who provided you with the description?
A: The officer who responded to the scene.
Q: A fellow officer of yours provided the description of this so-called offender. Do you trust this fellow officer?
A: Yes, sir, with my life.
Q: With your life? Let me then ask you this, officer. Do you have a room were you change your clothes in preparation for the day’s duties?
A: Yes, sir, we do.
Q: And do you have a locker in that room?
A: Yes, sir, I do.
Q: And do you have a lock on your locker?
A: Yes, sir.
Q: Why is it, officer, that if you trust your fellow officers with your life, that you find it necessary to lock your locker in a room you share with those some officers?
A: You see, sir, we share the building with the court complex. And sometimes lawyers have been known to walk through that room.
There are three kinds of people in the world:
A. The Intelligent
B. The Good Looking
C. The Majority
A horse walks into a restaurant.
The host says, “Hey!”
The horse replies, “Sure!”
While cleaning the attic, Flip and Flop found an old receipt for some shoes they left at the repair shop 10 years ago.
They thought it would be funny to go to the shop and see if the shoes were still there. So they did.
They handed the stub to the repair man who took it and looked in the back. He came out again and said, “They’ll be ready on Wednesday.”
What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?
Don’t know. Don’t care.
