Student: How much is remaining, sir?
Teacher: it’s last 20, be quick.
Student: 20 what? Apples?
Tag: English Jokes
English Jokes
A Lawyer named Strange died and his wife asked the grave builder to inscribe on his grave,
“Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer.”
The grave builder insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for the passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the grave.
So, he suggested an alternative.
He would inscribe, “Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer.”
That way, whenever anyone walked by the grave and read it,
they would be certain to remark,
“That’s Strange!”
English Jokes
I put on my resume that I can type 700 characters per minute
Which is true, but apparently, they expected these characters to form words.
English Jokes, puns
I thought about running for president
But I figured he should do his own exercise.
English Jokes
One day, all the teaching colleagues of Dr. Flip got into a plane to fly to a conference.
The pilot came online and announced, “You will be delighted to know that all the work on building this plane has been done by your own students!”
Immediately, there was a mad scramble and all the teachers got off the plane before the air hostess could understand a thing.
Dr, Flip, however, remained calmly seated and in fact, opened the morning paper and started reading it.
“You must trust your students an awful lot, Prof!” The pilot could barely hide his admiration.
“Oh yes! Absolutely!” Flip replied, “If my students built it, this plane isn’t going anywhere.”
English Jokes
A woman went to the doctor complaining of pain all over her body.
“I hurt all over,” she said.
“What do you mean all over?” the doctor asked, “Can you be a little more specific?”
The woman proceeded to touch her right knee with her index finger and yelled, “Ow, that hurts.” Then her nose and yelled again, “Ouch! That also hurts.” Then she touched her left earlobe and yelled again, “Even that hurts doc.”
After examining her, the doctor came to a conclusion… the woman had a broken finger.
English Jokes
How many Apple enthusiasts does it take to change a lightbulb?
They don’t change the light bulb, they just buy a new house.
How many wizards does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on what you want to change it into.
puns
There’s no pun like an IT pun. These are our favourites. Enjoy !
Why was the mobile phone wearing glasses? Because it lost its contacts.
Why did the developer become so poor? Because he used up all his cache.
What do you call an iPhone that sleeps too much? Dead Siri-ous.
What did the computer do during his break? He had a byte!
Why was the computer found cold and sneezing? Because someone left its Windows open!
Why did the computer arrive late at work? Because it had a hard drive.
English Jokes
I was at IKEA with my friend the other day, and I saw a coffee table called “Bias”
I said “Well, we can’t get this one!”
“Why not?” He asked.
“Look at it” I replied. “It’s leaning to one side.”