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Tag: English Jokes for Kids

No prizes for guessing the profession of this one…

Posted on February 17, 2024 By Admin Comedy Majors No Comments on No prizes for guessing the profession of this one…
English Jokes

Scientists removed the left half of a man’s brain and asked him to count to 10. He said, “2, 4, 6, 8, 10.”

Then they put it back, and removed the right half of his brain and asked him to count to 10. He said, “1, 3, 5, 7, 9.”

Finally they removed his entire brain and asked him to count to 10. He said, “Oh I can count to 10. Believe me. People are saying I can count to 10 better than anyone in the history of our country. If you ask me to count to 10, I will count to 10 the likes of which no one has ever seen before.

Testers and Users

Posted on February 12, 2024 By Admin Comedy Majors No Comments on Testers and Users
Memes, Office Memes

Oh, as anyone in IT knows.. this is *Almost* true.

Of course, some testers are smart enough to build in stress testing.

Difference between hardware and software

Posted on February 10, 2024 By Admin Comedy Majors No Comments on Difference between hardware and software
Quotes and one lIners

The difference between hardware and software: “Software is something you swear at. Hardware is something you kick.”

They Walk Among Us…

Posted on January 31, 2024 By API Admin No Comments on They Walk Among Us…
English Jokes

A guy bought a new fridge for his house.

To get rid of his old fridge { still working }, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: ‘Free to good home. You want it, you take it.’

For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice.
He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal.
So he changed the sign to read: ‘Fridge for sale $50.’
The next day someone stole it !

They walk among us ! 😂


One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone shouted, “Look at that dead bird !”
Someone looked up at the sky and said “Where?”

They walk among us ! 😂


My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard an admin girl talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach. She drove down in a convertible, but said she “didn’t think she’d get sunburned because the car was moving.”

They walk among us ! 😂


My sister has a life saving tool in her car which is designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the car trunk.


I couldn’t find my luggage at the airport baggage area and went to the lost luggage office and reported the loss.

The woman there smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and said I was in good hands. ‘Now,’ she asked me, ‘Has your plane arrived yet?’ { I work with professionals like this }.

They walk among us ! 😂


While working at a pizza parlor, I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6.

He thought about it for some time then said “Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don’t think I’m hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.”

They walk among us ! 😂


A noted psychiatrist was a guest speaker at an academic function where Mr. Flip happened to appear.

‘Would you mind telling me, Doctor,’ Mr. Flip asked, ‘how you detect a mental deficiency in somebody who appears completely normal?’

‘Nothing is easier,’ he replied. ‘You ask a simple question which anyone should answer with no trouble. If the person hesitates, that puts you on the track.’

‘What sort of question?’ asked Flip.

Well, you might ask, ‘Captain Cook made three trips around the world and died during one of them. Which one?”

Mr. Flip thought a moment, and then said with a nervous laugh, ‘You wouldn’t happen to have another example, would you? I must confess I don’t know much about history.’

Poetic Justice System

Posted on January 14, 2024 By Admin Comedy Majors No Comments on Poetic Justice System
Comics

After common sense has left the room

Posted on January 11, 2024 By Admin Comedy Majors No Comments on After common sense has left the room
Life Memes, Memes, Student Memes

What happens to a society that puts talking above common sense?

Imaginary Friend

Posted on January 6, 2024January 6, 2024 By Admin Comedy Majors No Comments on Imaginary Friend
Comics

Visiting an uncle

Posted on January 6, 2024 By Admin Comedy Majors No Comments on Visiting an uncle
English Jokes

we love this joke for the wordplay that results in…

Two one-liners and one pun

Posted on January 5, 2024 By Admin Comedy Majors No Comments on Two one-liners and one pun
English Jokes, puns

I had a few jokes about unemployment, but none of them worked.

The problem with troubleshooting is that trouble shoots back.

How we really want Maps Directions

Posted on January 2, 2024 By Admin Comedy Majors No Comments on How we really want Maps Directions
Comics

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