“Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and make bad decisions.” –
“Just because we accept you as you are doesn’t mean we’ve abandoned hope you’ll improve.”
“It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.” –
“Just because you are unique doesn’t mean you are useful.”
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”
“I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.” –
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.”