Tag: Comedy Majors

In this day and age, the individuality of the child is to be respected. Teachers, however, know how to be creative yet accurate. Read on…

Dear Parent,
We are pleased your child has one of the same qualities that Henry Ford, the founder of the Ford Motor Company, possessed. Like him, your son believes that history is bunk. But it may be best to disabuse him of the notion that the Mughal emperors were Amar, Akbar, and Anthony.
Yours beseechingly,
Teacher

Dear Parent,
Your child submitted a blank paper for last week’s science test, influenced perhaps by Albert Camus, who said, ‘Whether the earth or the sun revolves around the other is a matter of profound indifference’. Your son shares that profound indifference, undoubtedly for philosophical reasons. But could you inform him that in order to study philosophy, he has to pass class eight first?
Yours plaintively,
Teacher

Dear Parent,
Your son has obviously read Friedrich Nietzsche’s Beyond Good and Evil, which is why he was copying from the boy next to him during yesterday’s test. Like Nietzsche, he believes that Supermen like him have little use for conventional notions of morality. The teacher who caught him copying is a conventional type who gave him a zero.
Yours conservatively,
Teacher

Dear Parent,
We are impressed by your child’s knowledge of martial arts. In the past month, he has broken two legs, four arms and three noses. He also shows prudence while fighting, taking care to pick on weaker boys. He has inspired community action. The parents of the children are now planning to form a martial arts practice club and will help your child practice his art further. They are likely to contact him at home, after school hours.
Yours amusedly,
Teacher