Tag: Clean Humour for kids

Flip’s students design a plane

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English Jokes

One day, all the teaching colleagues of Dr. Flip got into a plane to fly to a conference.

The pilot came online and announced, “You will be delighted to know that all the work on building this plane has been done by your own students!”

Immediately, there was a mad scramble and all the teachers got off the plane before the air hostess could understand a thing.

Dr, Flip, however, remained calmly seated and in fact, opened the morning paper and started reading it.

“You must trust your students an awful lot, Prof!” The pilot could barely hide his admiration.

“Oh yes! Absolutely!” Flip replied, “If my students built it, this plane isn’t going anywhere.”

Diagnosis

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English Jokes

A woman went to the doctor complaining of pain all over her body.

“I hurt all over,” she said.

“What do you mean all over?” the doctor asked, “Can you be a little more specific?”

The woman proceeded to touch her right knee with her index finger and yelled, “Ow, that hurts.” Then her nose and yelled again, “Ouch! That also hurts.” Then she touched her left earlobe and yelled again, “Even that hurts doc.”

After examining her, the doctor came to a conclusion… the woman had a broken finger.

IT puns

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puns

There’s no pun like an IT pun. These are our favourites. Enjoy !

Why was the mobile phone wearing glasses? Because it lost its contacts.

 Why did the developer become so poor? Because he used up all his cache.

What do you call an iPhone that sleeps too much? Dead Siri-ous.

What did the computer do during his break? He had a byte!

Why was the computer found cold and sneezing? Because someone left its Windows open!

 Why did the computer arrive late at work? Because it had a hard drive.

Today’s English Jokes

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English Jokes

Oh, Cicero!

A Roman senator comes into the senate fifteen minutes late one day. Cicero is up front making a speech, so he creeps into his seat as quietly as possible and whispers to the guy next to him, “What’s he talking about?”

The guy replies, “I don’t know, he hasn’t gotten to the verb.”

Need a Friend?

Need a friend? Call me.

A laugh? Call me

Need money? This number is no longer available.

Teenagers 1

Teacher: Why is your paper in blank?

Student: Sometimes Silence is the best answer.

Inner Peace

“My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.”

— Dave Barry