Tag: best jokes
English Jokes
An engineer, chef, and a mathematician go out to dinner at their favorite restaurant and grill. They’re sharing some jokes over their snacks and laughing when a fire starts behind the grill.
Seeing the staff panicking, the engineer quickly calculates exactly how much water he’ll need to put it out and runs in the back for a bucket.
The chef, from his own experience can tell it’s a grease fire so he runs in back to find salt.
The Mathematician looks at his friends, then to the fire. Upon realizing there is a solution, he promptly continues eating.
puns
There’s no pun like an IT pun. These are our favourites. Enjoy !
Why was the mobile phone wearing glasses? Because it lost its contacts.
Why did the developer become so poor? Because he used up all his cache.
What do you call an iPhone that sleeps too much? Dead Siri-ous.
What did the computer do during his break? He had a byte!
Why was the computer found cold and sneezing? Because someone left its Windows open!
Why did the computer arrive late at work? Because it had a hard drive.
English Jokes
Oh, Cicero!
A Roman senator comes into the senate fifteen minutes late one day. Cicero is up front making a speech, so he creeps into his seat as quietly as possible and whispers to the guy next to him, “What’s he talking about?”
The guy replies, “I don’t know, he hasn’t gotten to the verb.”
Need a Friend?
Need a friend? Call me.
A laugh? Call me
Need money? This number is no longer available.
Teenagers 1
Teacher: Why is your paper in blank?
Student: Sometimes Silence is the best answer.
Inner Peace
“My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far I’ve finished two bags of M&Ms and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.”
— Dave Barry
Hindi Jokes, हिन्दी जोक्स
एक इंजीनियर पुत्र ने अमरीका से फोन ला कर मनोरंजन के लिए अपनी बुंदेलखंडी पूज्य माताजी को गिफ्ट किया…
एलेक्सा से काम करवाने के लिए थोडी बहुत इंग्लिश भी सिखा दी….
अम्मा का खूब मन लग गया..
एलेक्सा और अम्मा खूब अच्छे फ्रैन्ड स बन गए ..एक साल बाद बेटा अमरीका से जब लौटकर आया …पूछा कैसी हो अम्मा??एलेक्सा तुम्हारे सवालों के जवाब ठीक से देती है ना???
अम्मा बहुत खुश होकर बोली …खुदई देख लो बेटा..
अम्मा- ऐ एलेक्सा कहाँ हो????
एलेक्सा- जे का जिज्जी इतईं तो परे हैं खटिया के नेंचे ….
Life Memes, Memes, Office Memes
We might think that CEOs are at the top of the power hierarchy.
But ask a CEO in private and they will tell you the pains of their life. The need to think and speak like a visionary but get evaluated on quarterly results.
Dealing with Boards.
Dealing with Teams.
Today, we present 3 memes. This series is called #JustCEOThings
#JustCEOThings is a crowdsourced project. Send us your memes at majorscomedy@gmail.com and we will publish them with credit to you.
puns
We bring you a Ponanza – a Pun Bonanza!
# I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
# England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
# A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
# A bicycle can’t stand alone; it’s just two tired.
# – When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she’d dye.
# – I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
# – Why is ‘dark’ spelt with a k and not c?
Because you can’t ‘c’ in the dark.
# – Why is it unwise to share your secrets with a clock?
Well, because time will tell.
# – Prison is just one word to you, but for some people, it’s a whole sentence.
# – I’m trying to organize a hide-n-seek tournament, but good players are really hard to find.
# – I’ve started telling everyone about the benefits of eating dried grapes. It’s all about raisin awareness!!!