Tag: best jokes
Flip, Flop, and Min go to work at a coal mine.
When they arrive the manager assigns each of them a task. Flip is in charge of digging. Flop is in charge of transportation. Min is in charge of supplies.
They get to work and everything is going smoothly. Flip is digging up the coal at a rapid pace. Flop is quickly transporting the coal and the two have quite the efficient operation going.
Slowly Flip’s pick begins to go dull and his shovel handle is breaking off. Flop’s transportation cart has a rickety wheel and they need replacements from their supply man, Min. However, Min is nowhere to be found. In fact, no one has seen him all day long. Frustrated, Flip and Flop go to find the manager and explain the situation. The manager is equally upset.
The three of them go about the mine looking to find Min. They search high and low, but Min can’t be found anywhere. Extremely frustrated and about to give up, they decide to take a look down a dark, abandoned shaft. They peak their heads in and suddenly Min jumps out of nowhere and yells, “SUPPRIES!!!”
What do apples and space time have in common?
Wormholes
I think the tomatoes in my garden are actually round red time travelers.
They all seem to be developing wormholes.
This one is a classic, and we always love it!
When an employment application asks who is to be notified in case of an emergency, I always write, “A very good doctor”.
The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
She was only a whisky-maker, but he loved her still.
A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
A backward poet writes inverse.
In a democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, ‘Dam!’
Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, ‘I’ve lost my electron.’
The other says, ‘Are you sure?’
The first replies, ‘Yes, I’m positive.’