I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off?
He’s all right now.
A bicycle can’t stand alone; it’s just two tired.
When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she’d dye.
I didn’t like my beard at first.
Then it grew on me.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?
Why is ‘dark’ spelt with a k and not c?
Because you can’t ‘c’ in the dark.
Why is it unwise to share your secrets with a clock?
Well, because time will tell.
Prison is just one word to you, but for some people, it’s a whole sentence.
