The difference between hardware and software: “Software is something you swear at. Hardware is something you kick.”
Category: Quotes and one lIners
Quotes and one lIners
Sometimes its hard to tell whether you are carving a niche for yourself or digging a hole!
************
There was a time when the artist had to suffer. Now, its the viewer.
***********
I’d like to apply for a credit card. I am tired of my cheques bouncing all over the place.
**
To err is human. To forgive, infrequent.
*
Gather ye rosebuds where ye may, florists are very expensive.
***
Anybody who can still do at 60 what s/he was doing at 20, wasn’t doing much at 20.
****
Nothing can spoil a class reunion like running into the guy who has all his hair, married your girl, and made his money from computers.
****
Tolerance is based on patience, respect, and the suspicion that the other fellow may be right.
****
The problem with doing nothing is, you never know when you are done.
***
No two people are exactly alike, and chances are, both are glad of it.
******
life isn’t a bed of roses or a bowl of cherries. Its a bunch of raisins – raisin’ kids, raisin’ hell, and raisin’ money.
***
Now that I finally have it all together, I’ve forgotten where i put it!
***
Nothing is impossible for those who don’t have to do it themselves.
***
If at first you do succeed, try to hide your astonishment.
****
Ideas are a lot like children – our own are wonderful!
******
A well-adjusted person is someone who can make the same mistake twice without being nervous.
*******
The trouble with work is – its so daily.
*******
Constructive criticism is when I criticise you. Destructive criticism is when you criticise me.
********
God is not a cosmic bellboy for whom we can press a button to get things.
Quotes and one lIners
I want to meet the genius who named Delhi’s climate band “temperate”.
At this time, the Open-Air Fridge of Delhi is consistently maintaining 5 degrees.
I would post a picture of View from my Window, but that would give the term Smokescreen a whole new meaning.
English Jokes, Quotes and one lIners
Why didn’t anyone want the biologist’s new book?
It was a hard cell.
Quotes and one lIners
“Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and make bad decisions.” –
“Just because we accept you as you are doesn’t mean we’ve abandoned hope you’ll improve.”
“It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.” –
“Just because you are unique doesn’t mean you are useful.”
“Oh, you hate your job? Why didn’t you say so? There’s a support group for that. It’s called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.”
“I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.” –
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.”
English Jokes, Quotes and one lIners
My wife asked me if I’d seen the dog bowl.
I said “To be honest, I didn’t even know he played cricket!”
English Jokes, Just Indian Things, Quotes and one lIners
Santa: What’s Bruce Lee’s favourite pageant?
Banta: Don’t know.
Santa: Diwa Lee.
English Jokes, Quotes and one lIners
Did you hear about the poker player who made the palm reader quit?
He refused to show his hand.
English Jokes, Quotes and one lIners
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/4th!
English Jokes, Quotes and one lIners
Student: How much is remaining, sir?
Teacher: it’s last 20, be quick.
Student: 20 what? Apples?