Category: puns

I saw a movie about how ships are put together. It was riveting.

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Terminal Illness – Getting sick at the airport.

I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going there.

Someone has stolen my Microsoft Office and they are going to pay for it… You have my Word.

My bank sent me a letter saying it’s the last time they will spend 50 cents to tell me I have 2 cents in my account.

My doctor said I must bathe in milk but I couldn’t get into the bottle.

I was born on the 1st of the month, so they called me Bill!

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Retirement is wonderful. It’s doing nothing without worrying about getting caught.

My daughter told me she wants to be a secret agent. Based on that alone, I don’t think she’d be a good secret agent.

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 I refused to believe my road worker father was stealing from his job, but when I got home, all the signs were there.

Why did the picture end up in jail?

It was framed!