Your happiness quotient – multiplied
*Note: You have to be really old to get this joke.
In the 1990s, a Microsoft engineer was invited to dinner. His hosts called him to ask what his expected time of arrival would be.
“Oh, the system here shows I am about 50 minutes away, now its 3 and a half days, oh wait, it just became 23 seconds.”
This pun makes a lot of sense!
A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget’s Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load.
Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.
A man gives a beggar $10 every day. This continues for a year. Suddenly, the daily donation changes to $5.
The beggar thinks, “Better than nothing.”
A year passes again suddenly alms cut to $2.
Beggar asks the man, “First you give $10 daily, then $5 & now only $2. What’s the problem?”
Donor: “Last year my eldest son went to university. It’s expensive, so I had to cut costs.
This year my daughter started university, so I cut costs more.”
“How many children do you have?” the beggar asks.
“Four” the man replies.
Beggar: “Well, do you plan to educate them all at my expense?”
If poison expires, is it more poisonous or is it no longer poisonous?
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Which letter is silent in the word “Scent,” the S or the C?
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The word “swims” upside-down and backwards is still “swims”
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100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. Today everyone has cars and only the rich own horses.
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If you replace “W” with “T” in “What, Where and When”, you get the answer to each of them.
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Some Great Confusions still unresolved 😄😂
At a movie theatre, which arm rest is yours?
If people evolve from monkeys, why are monkeys still around?
Why is there a ‘D’ in fridge, but not in refrigerator?
Who knew what time it was when the first clock was made?
