Who is the leader of the corn army?
The kernal.
Laughter is the BEST medicine, and the best health tonic. Share a laugh!
Your happiness quotient – multiplied
The kernal.
Farmers earn a meager celery, come home beet and just want to read the pepper, turn-ip the covers, en-dive into bed.
It will be a monumental disaster.
This is one of those classic jokes of India.
Some fifty/sixty years ago, the Station Director of All India Radio, Calcutta spent 2½ Annas on a mutton leg to entice the tiger to roar during the recording of a children’s program on a zoo visit.
Audit objected to it stating that he had no authority to incur expenditure on such an item. He was asked to remit the money, fix responsibility and take steps to prevent such defaults in future.
The station director’s office replied that he had the delegated powers to spend on the entertainment of artists who participate in recorded programs.
Citing the definition of an artist from the official manual that there should be a contract between the AIR and the artist, Audit asked the station director to produce a copy of the contract signed with the tiger.
The station director’s office replied that the manuals allowed him to waive the requirements in the case of VIPs who are requested to participate in programs, and since the tiger is a Royal Bengal Tiger (certificate of the zoo authorities attached), the station Director after careful consideration had decided to waive the execution of the contract considering that the tiger had not insisted on any fee for its performance.
The Audit Officer accepted the reply and dropped the objection in view of the clarification.
Santa: What’s Bruce Lee’s favourite pageant?
Banta: Don’t know.
Santa: Diwa Lee.
Mother: Kam se kam naha le. It’s Diwali immediately.
The child sprinkles just a few drops of water on ownself.
Mother: What’s this?
Child: Kam se kam naha liya.
Who does their job even after getting fired?
Bullets and fireworks.
Flip joined college and was trying desperately to make friends.
But being socially awkward and shy, he wasn’t having it easy.
Until, one day, he suddenly started getting popular. He would go up to people and talk and they would include him in their groups in no time at all.
Flop, who had also joined college at the same time and was facing the same challenges, was suitably perplexed.
So, he decided to ask Flip what his secret was.
“Oh, I check their facebook and insta, then talk to them about things they are interested in.” Flip said cooly.
“That is Brilliance!! How did you figure this out?” Flop asked.
“Once I realised that all I need to understand an entity is meta data, the rest was easy.”
Did you hear about the poker player who made the palm reader quit?
He refused to show his hand.
4 engineers got into a car. The car suddenly jammed and stopped.
Mechanical Engineer: It’s a broken starter.
Electrical Engineer: Dead battery.
Chemical Engineer: Starter fluid.
IT engineer: Hey guys lets just get out, close all the doors, open them, and get in again?
What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
“You may have graduated, but I’ve got many degrees.”
Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
Because it was polar!
Why should you go out to eat with neutrons?
Because wherever they go, there’s no charge!
What happens when you lower your body temperature to -273°C?
Nothing, you’re perfectly 0K!
Carbon and Hydrogen are excellent friends. They really bond.