Author: Admin Comedy Majors
English Jokes
Flip shows a meme to Flop.
Flop: I don’t understand it.
Flip tries to explain.
Flop: I still don’t get it!
Flip: Oh, Flop, you just don’t understand the coarser things in life!
- Original joke by Ishaan Kaila
Memes, Student Memes
BEST student comeback ever!
English Jokes
We were wolves. Then we realised, you had couches.
English Jokes
Father Flip is invited to a parish to address the gathering as a guest of honour. Gladly, he accepts.
On the appointed day, Father Flip reaches the village by bus. He asks a young man passing by, “Where is the parish?”
“I’ll take you” the boy says helpfully.
They get to chatting and the young man asks Father Flip, “Why are you going to our parish?”
“I will address the congregation, child.” Father Flip said helpfully.
“Really? What will you talk about?”
“I will teach you the fastest way to get to heaven, my son.”
At this point, the young man started laughing hysterically.
“What’s funny?” Father Flip was confused.
“You want to show us the way to heaven……you do not know the way to the parish!”
puns
I saw a movie about how ships are put together. It was riveting.
************************************
Terminal Illness – Getting sick at the airport.
I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going there.
Someone has stolen my Microsoft Office and they are going to pay for it… You have my Word.
My bank sent me a letter saying it’s the last time they will spend 50 cents to tell me I have 2 cents in my account.
My doctor said I must bathe in milk but I couldn’t get into the bottle.
I was born on the 1st of the month, so they called me Bill!
*************
Retirement is wonderful. It’s doing nothing without worrying about getting caught.
My daughter told me she wants to be a secret agent. Based on that alone, I don’t think she’d be a good secret agent.
************
I refused to believe my road worker father was stealing from his job, but when I got home, all the signs were there.
