When Giani Zail Singh became the 7th President of India, his lack of fluency in English led to some embarrassment. So, Mrs. Gandhi personally appointed an English tutor for him. He was to receive instruction every evening.
After 3 weeks, Mrs. Gandhi called up the Singh household and asked to speak to Giani ji. She found that his English was halting, if that. She then had a word with the tutor and asked him to expedite the progress.
Three weeks went by, and Mrs. Gandhi called again. With the same result. This time, her words to the tutor were stronger.
Since Mrs. Gandhi was travelling, she could only call after a month. As luck would have it, the tutor picked up the phone.
“Oh, hello, Martin. Does your student speak English now?” she enquired. “O seekh jayega haule haule. Kaali kyun karni hai?” Martin replied. (Translation: Punjabi for – He will learn gradually. Why the rush?)
In this day and age, the individuality of the child is to be respected. Teachers, however, know how to be creative yet accurate. Read on…
Dear Parent, We are pleased your child has one of the same qualities that Henry Ford, the founder of the Ford Motor Company, possessed. Like him, your son believes that history is bunk. But it may be best to disabuse him of the notion that the Mughal emperors were Amar, Akbar, and Anthony. Yours beseechingly, Teacher
Dear Parent, Your child submitted a blank paper for last week’s science test, influenced perhaps by Albert Camus, who said, ‘Whether the earth or the sun revolves around the other is a matter of profound indifference’. Your son shares that profound indifference, undoubtedly for philosophical reasons. But could you inform him that in order to study philosophy, he has to pass class eight first? Yours plaintively, Teacher
Dear Parent, Your son has obviously read Friedrich Nietzsche’s Beyond Good and Evil, which is why he was copying from the boy next to him during yesterday’s test. Like Nietzsche, he believes that Supermen like him have little use for conventional notions of morality. The teacher who caught him copying is a conventional type who gave him a zero. Yours conservatively, Teacher
Dear Parent, We are impressed by your child’s knowledge of martial arts. In the past month, he has broken two legs, four arms and three noses. He also shows prudence while fighting, taking care to pick on weaker boys. He has inspired community action. The parents of the children are now planning to form a martial arts practice club and will help your child practice his art further. They are likely to contact him at home, after school hours. Yours amusedly, Teacher
